Mary Hare Grammar School

I enjoyed my school days at the Mary Hare Grammar School in Newbury, Berkshire and thought that you may like to see some more photos .

The wooden summer house

Wooden bridge in the grounds, an area that the pupils were not allowed to enter. I was able to take this photo because our form was having a nature lesson with Mr Salt at the time.

Stone summer house

Behind the summer house are the netball and tennis courts.

Two of my school friends: Valerie and Pauline

The fish pond and beyond are the playing fields.

Friends

Friends

All these photos were taken in the early 1950's, the school has changed a lot over the years and I am sure that I would not recognise it now. I have fond memories of the school and will always appreciate what they did for me.



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I had more free time

When I started to bump into things at home, stumble over objects this was usually when someone inadvertedly moved something and I thought that I was being clumsy so I was not duly worried about it.  Our two girls were very young at that time and they would leave toys and books scattered about on the floor but that is what all young children do when playing with their toys. My husband kept telling me to stop rushing about and to take my time! I did not know then that it was because of the eye disease that I was bumping into things and falling over objects.  Nowadays, the first thing that I do is to scan the room or any other room that I enter and take note of where things are even if it is someone else’s home that I visit regularly as you never know if they have moved any furniture around! I will take particular care in noting where the doors are and if they are closed or half closed or open because colliding with a door really hurts; I know because I have done it many times and with cupboard doors as well!

When the girls started school, I felt a bit lost mainly because I found that I had too much free time on my hands so I decided to join the Mother’s Christmas Workshop that led to many other outlets. Far from ignoring my sight and hearing problems, I was gradually learning to live with the problems instead of sitting at home and worrying about it. The experience as the result of my deafness has, I am certain, helped me to face up to my visual problems and though it may seem a paradox, but helping other people to understand my difficulties by talking about them has helped me to overcome many of my problems. One thing that I did mention to my new friends was that if they saw me in town or wherever, they must tap me on my shoulder or even stand in front of me to get my attention as I did not want them to think that I was ignoring them. One lady did, she knew that I had sight problems but did not know that I was hearing impaired too and she thought that I had ignored her when she apparently spoke to me when she saw me in town; these things do happen!

As the girls got older and wanted more freedom to go out with their friends, it was suggested that I join Highfield Bowling Club where Ronald was already a member. I decided to apply for membership and was invited to join. I had already played bowls with Ronald when on holiday in Rhyl in North Wales and really enjoyed playing the game. The bowling club that I joined played in the Chesterfield and District Crown Green Bowling League and though the club did not have many teams playing in the league at the time, it was not long before the club entered more teams due to increased membership.

It was decided to enter a Ladies team; I started going down to the green most mornings to practice on my own and to get to know the green as I really wanted to play for the ladies team.  The practice paid off as I was picked to play with Olga who was a wonderful team player and we played well together. I had to work hard at my game but was able to develop a technique that worked for me but I found it difficult at times especially when playing in bright conditions and would usually end up with a severe headache.  After a few years, Ronald was ready to pack up because of health problems and I decided to join him as I was no longer enjoying the bowling scene. I’d experienced some resentment from some other players and have just about had enough.  Ronald and I have always been grateful to the many friends that we made on the bowling circuit and we still keep in touch with the bowling club.

When I left school

When I left school, I found employment as a laboratory assistant at Robinson and Sons Ltd, a local firm that specialized in surgical dressings and boxes.  I enrolled as a day release student at the local Technical College where I found it very tough going.  During the lectures, I found that I could not hear or understand what the lecturers were saying and often did not know what I had to do. I realised that like it or not deafness was a disability and one that is not visible and I felt cut off, unhappy and isolated. Thankfully, a few of the students began to talk to me but I was certainly the odd one out and  I found that I could not depend wholly on lip-reading and my hearing aid and that it was so easy to lose the thread of what the other students were talking about. There was one lecturer who did go out of his way to help me by giving me notes at the end of the lectures explaining what he would be talking about in the next lesson and a list of books that I should get from the library; his help was very much appreciated.  I had to spend many hours studying and making notes in order to keep up with the other students but did complete the course successfully.

 I was very happy living in the Deaf World but on entering the Hearing World, it was not long before I realised that I was not as well prepared as I would liked to have been but I do believe that it was up to me to make a success of the final transition into the hearing World though the ideal situation for me would have been to have deaf and hearing friends. I can say in all honesty that the years at the two deaf schools that I attended was a time that I felt that I really belonged to a “group” as it was and for a long time afterwards very difficult for me to really fit in with the Hearing World.  There were many times when I felt left out of group conversations and it is easy to feel lonely and isolated and I found communication and mixing in the hearing world the most difficult obstacles that I had to face. I realised that using a hearing aid alone was not enough to allow me to understand everything a hearing person was saying but by using a hearing aid and lip-reading at the same time on a one to one basis, I was able to understand most of what was being said to me providing that that they did not put their hand over their mouth making it impossible for me to lip-read them.