Further education

 I enrolled as a day release student at the local Technical College where I found it very tough going.  During the lectures, I found that I could not hear or understand what the lecturers were saying and often did not know what I had to do. I realised that like it or not deafness was a disability and one that is not visible and I felt cut off and isolated. Thankfully, a few of the students began to talk to me but I was certainly the odd one out as  I found that I could not depend wholly on lip-reading and my hearing aid and that it was so easy to lose the thread of what the other students were talking about. There was one lecturer who did go out of his way to help me by giving me notes at the end of the lectures explaining what he would be talking about in the next lesson and a list of books that I should get from the library; his help was very much appreciated.  I had to spend many hours studying and making notes in order to keep up with the other students but did complete the course successfully.

I was very happy living in the Deaf World but on entering the Hearing World, it was not long before I realised that I was not as well prepared as I would have liked to have been but I really believe that it was up to me to make a success of the final transition into the hearing World though the ideal situation was to have deaf and hearing friends. I can say in all honesty that the years at the two deaf schools that I attended was a time that I felt that I really belonged to a “group” as it was and for a long time afterwards very difficult for me to really fit in with the Hearing World.  There were many times when I felt left out of group conversations and it is easy to feel lonely when in that position; I prefer one to one conversations.  I found communication and mixing in the hearing world the most difficult obstacles that I had to face. I realised that using a hearing aid alone was not enough to allow me to understand everything a hearing person was saying but by using a hearing aid and lip-reading at the same time on a one to one basis, I was able to understand most of what was being said providing that that they did not put their hand over their mouth making it impossible to lip-read.

Having night vision problems made walking in poorly lit areas extremely difficult. To try and solve this, I would look for a guiding line such as a wall, a kerb, some street lights or even follow someone and hope that we did not collide. They were not good ideas really because it was certain that I would bump into something or someone or even trip over a kerb but it was the only thing that I could do at the time when out on my own at night. The bus station was some distance away from the Technical College and if I did not catch the 9.00pm bus I would miss the connection at Bolsover leaving me to wait another hour for the next bus. To solve this, I would walk out of the lecture that bit earlier to ensure that I caught the 9.00pm bus to Bolsover and by doing this I was able to miss the crowd of students rushing out of the buildings instead of having to wait until it was clear and safe for me to walk to the bus station.

Mary Hare Grammar School

I enjoyed my school days at the Mary Hare Grammar School in Newbury, Berkshire and thought that you may like to see some more photos .

The wooden summer house

Wooden bridge in the grounds, an area that the pupils were not allowed to enter. I was able to take this photo because our form was having a nature lesson with Mr Salt at the time.

Stone summer house

Behind the summer house are the netball and tennis courts.

Two of my school friends: Valerie and Pauline

The fish pond and beyond are the playing fields.

Friends

Friends

All these photos were taken in the early 1950's, the school has changed a lot over the years and I am sure that I would not recognise it now. I have fond memories of the school and will always appreciate what they did for me.



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I had more free time

When I started to bump into things at home, stumble over objects this was usually when someone inadvertedly moved something and I thought that I was being clumsy so I was not duly worried about it.  Our two girls were very young at that time and they would leave toys and books scattered about on the floor but that is what all young children do when playing with their toys. My husband kept telling me to stop rushing about and to take my time! I did not know then that it was because of the eye disease that I was bumping into things and falling over objects.  Nowadays, the first thing that I do is to scan the room or any other room that I enter and take note of where things are even if it is someone else’s home that I visit regularly as you never know if they have moved any furniture around! I will take particular care in noting where the doors are and if they are closed or half closed or open because colliding with a door really hurts; I know because I have done it many times and with cupboard doors as well!

When the girls started school, I felt a bit lost mainly because I found that I had too much free time on my hands so I decided to join the Mother’s Christmas Workshop that led to many other outlets. Far from ignoring my sight and hearing problems, I was gradually learning to live with the problems instead of sitting at home and worrying about it. The experience as the result of my deafness has, I am certain, helped me to face up to my visual problems and though it may seem a paradox, but helping other people to understand my difficulties by talking about them has helped me to overcome many of my problems. One thing that I did mention to my new friends was that if they saw me in town or wherever, they must tap me on my shoulder or even stand in front of me to get my attention as I did not want them to think that I was ignoring them. One lady did, she knew that I had sight problems but did not know that I was hearing impaired too and she thought that I had ignored her when she apparently spoke to me when she saw me in town; these things do happen!

As the girls got older and wanted more freedom to go out with their friends, it was suggested that I join Highfield Bowling Club where Ronald was already a member. I decided to apply for membership and was invited to join. I had already played bowls with Ronald when on holiday in Rhyl in North Wales and really enjoyed playing the game. The bowling club that I joined played in the Chesterfield and District Crown Green Bowling League and though the club did not have many teams playing in the league at the time, it was not long before the club entered more teams due to increased membership.

It was decided to enter a Ladies team; I started going down to the green most mornings to practice on my own and to get to know the green as I really wanted to play for the ladies team.  The practice paid off as I was picked to play with Olga who was a wonderful team player and we played well together. I had to work hard at my game but was able to develop a technique that worked for me but I found it difficult at times especially when playing in bright conditions and would usually end up with a severe headache.  After a few years, Ronald was ready to pack up because of health problems and I decided to join him as I was no longer enjoying the bowling scene. I’d experienced some resentment from some other players and have just about had enough.  Ronald and I have always been grateful to the many friends that we made on the bowling circuit and we still keep in touch with the bowling club.

When I left school

When I left school, I found employment as a laboratory assistant at Robinson and Sons Ltd, a local firm that specialized in surgical dressings and boxes.  I enrolled as a day release student at the local Technical College where I found it very tough going.  During the lectures, I found that I could not hear or understand what the lecturers were saying and often did not know what I had to do. I realised that like it or not deafness was a disability and one that is not visible and I felt cut off, unhappy and isolated. Thankfully, a few of the students began to talk to me but I was certainly the odd one out and  I found that I could not depend wholly on lip-reading and my hearing aid and that it was so easy to lose the thread of what the other students were talking about. There was one lecturer who did go out of his way to help me by giving me notes at the end of the lectures explaining what he would be talking about in the next lesson and a list of books that I should get from the library; his help was very much appreciated.  I had to spend many hours studying and making notes in order to keep up with the other students but did complete the course successfully.

 I was very happy living in the Deaf World but on entering the Hearing World, it was not long before I realised that I was not as well prepared as I would liked to have been but I do believe that it was up to me to make a success of the final transition into the hearing World though the ideal situation for me would have been to have deaf and hearing friends. I can say in all honesty that the years at the two deaf schools that I attended was a time that I felt that I really belonged to a “group” as it was and for a long time afterwards very difficult for me to really fit in with the Hearing World.  There were many times when I felt left out of group conversations and it is easy to feel lonely and isolated and I found communication and mixing in the hearing world the most difficult obstacles that I had to face. I realised that using a hearing aid alone was not enough to allow me to understand everything a hearing person was saying but by using a hearing aid and lip-reading at the same time on a one to one basis, I was able to understand most of what was being said to me providing that that they did not put their hand over their mouth making it impossible for me to lip-read them.

Long white cane

It was several months after falling down the stairs at home before I resumed my mobility training and was eager to get on with it. Before I started on my long cane training, I did a refresher’s course which was proved to be very useful and did help to improve my confidence. It was now the turn of the long cane, the first four sessions were held at a Community Hall. The purpose of the long white cane is to allow the user to detect obstacles at ground level that could be hazardous such as kerbs, steps, cars parking on a path even though it is against the law while allowing users to use their remaining vision to look ahead and to look from one side to the other and to look down just occasionally. One of the symptoms of my eye disease is a loss of peripheral vision which is often called "tunnel vision"; this suggests what a good mobility tool the long white cane could be for people who have sight problems and who have lost some or all their peripheral vision.

 First I practised walking with the cane in the hall and then had a go on the stairs; I was okay on the stairs/steps. As you will already know there are different types of stairs, some have handrails; there are some with landings and some with turns. When a handrail is present I have to put the hand that is nearest on the handrail, my other hand works the cane. I rest the tip of the cane on the second step in front of me and as I go down the stairs the cane tip slides forward and drops down to the next step. When it stops dropping and maybe slides a bit on the ground then I know that I am two steps from the bottom. When going up I do the same basic thing except the cane won’t do the slide and drop thing. I hold the cane, gently keeping it upright and then lightly press the cane against the step and slide it up to the next step keeping the cane ahead of me by two steps. When the cane reaches the top it has no step to press against so I will know that I have two steps left before I reach the top. To find out how wide the stairs are, I move the cane across from one side to the other and this will also tell me if there are any objects on the stairs.

Later, I practised walking along a pavement which I found very troublesome because of the poor condition of the pavements, my long cane kept finding the holes and getting trapped, then there was a car parked half way on to the pavement. On approaching a corner I was told to pay attention to what clues was available, as it was a route that I would use regularly and it was essential for me to have a clue. After sorting that out I learned how to get round the corner. Before crossing the road, I had to listen for any traffic coming and determine which way they were travelling, I found this hard at first but with practice found that I was able to distinguish which way the traffic was travelling. If I could hear traffic coming and I was standing close to the kerb, drivers will most likely think I am trying to cross the road and will probably stop and shout to me that it’s okay to cross over. I have been told to say thank you and then wave them on. When standing at the kerb if I could not hear any traffic coming or see any traffic with the limited vision that I have got then I would cross the road otherwise I step back and wait a bit longer. We practised crossing the road and then it was time to return home and this was when the problems started!  I was facing the sun and could not see a thing, unfortunately the glare from the sun makes my eyes run and then everything became blurred and I could not see where I was going making me feel disorientated.  I was told to try and keep going which I did because I knew that my rehabilitation worker would stay near me and eventually I was in the shade. It left me feeling a bit insecure and lacking confidence but I intend to persevere with the training but I did wonder what I had let myself in for! 

When walking along with the long white cane it would sometimes get trapped in a hole or a rough area which result in me getting a jab in my abdomen. I avoided this by holding the cane a little to the right of my body; I found it easier and was told that as long as I was comfortable, it would be satisfactory. After a couple of sessions though, I started to enjoy working with the long cane but I still had my reservations.  Would the long cane be a hindrance when in busy places, would people move out of the way and let me pass or would they trip over my cane, they may not see me coming probably because they are busy talking on their mobile phone or they may be looking in a shop window and suddenly turn and trip over my cane.

The long white cane that I am using has a roller tip which maintains contact with the ground as I walk along, this will indicate changes in the surface such as when I am walking on the pavement and I accidently walk on to the grass verge, I will immediately notice the change in texture and then realise that I have walked on to the grass verge.

After several sessions with the long white cane I found that I was becoming more confident and I was beginning to enjoy walking out with the long white cane. I never thought that I would ever say that!  The long white cane is a very useful and effective mobility tool and though I resisted at first to learn how to use the long white cane, I am so pleased that my rehabilitation worker quietly explained to me the advantages of the long white cane. There were some problems, I found that there were times when I had difficulty in distinguishing between the green grass and dark or mid-grey pavements which was mainly because I could not distinguish between the two colours and so would sometimes end up walking on the grass, however I was shown how to overcome this problem.

To be honest, any journey that I take can be dangerous, for roads and streets can be hostile to anyone with sight loss. Pavements and road works have to be navigated, and there are the cars parking on the pavements just to name a few. On one occasion, I was out walking using my long white cane near my home when I heard a voice saying “Excuse me please”. I was not certain where the sound was coming from but soon realised that it was coming from behind when a girl, aged about eight, on her cycle literally flew past me. I was so pleased that I did not stop and turn around or she could have knocked me over.

Guide Dog

I decided to apply for some mobility help as I felt that there was a need for a change which was to gain some independent and dignity. I asked my husband Ronald and daughters what their thoughts were regarding the possibility of applying for a guide dog and they were delighted with the suggestion.  I got in touch with the "Guide dogs Association for the Blind" and after several meetings with their representatives, found that yes, a guide dog was an option. At first, it was suggested that I had some training with the long cane but I refused without any hesitation with that option, it really did not appeal to me but later I changed my mind and started my training about a month later. I knew that I should be more independent and less dependent on other people for help but to go out without having to wait for someone to come along when available was very nice.  I have been very lucky to have a friend who often went into town shopping with me.

About two months into my training, I fell down the stairs at our home and I certainly would not recommend that anyone should try it for I was in pain for months and lost a lot of missed mobility training. I really do not know why I fell, did I miss a step or did I misjudge the stairs, I really do not know. I asked my elder daughter to put a message on the private family website for me and this is what she put:

“Just wanted to let everyone know that, although she will be fine, we have just spent the day at A & E with Mum. This morning Mum decided to try for a career change as a stunt woman. She has fallen down the stairs at home - full length from top to bottom, doing a somersault on the way down. She knew she had hurt her back so stayed very still until the ambulance arrived to take her to hospital. She has been incredibly lucky and not broken anything, although she is incredibly sore and bruised. She was looked after very well and fitted with a neck brace, until she was x-rayed. Unfortunately she enjoyed it in A & E so much that when they discharged her and she was leaving she promptly fainted so had to be re-admitted for a couple of hours until she felt she was ready to go home. She is back at home this evening and Dad is looking after her. Joking apart, it could have been a lot worse if she had not acted on instinct during the fall and stayed still until the ambulance arrived - Mum asked me to let you all know. Get well soon Mum XX “

It was several months before I resumed my mobility training and was eager to get on with it. I started on my long cane training but first I did a refresher’s course which was to prove very useful and did help to improve my confidence, then it was the turn of the long cane. Will talk about this next week.

My hobbies

My hobbies are photography, family history, music and computers. I had my first camera, a folding Brownie camera way back in 1952 and I still have it and will not part with it for sentimental reasons, it was a present from my mother and father.

 At present, I have a Canon Power Shot SX 200 which I believe to be a great little camera and I have been able to take some great images, well I think so! One summer, Ronald and I went to the New Forest with Rosie, my sister and her husband, Paul. We all had our cameras with us and took lots of images. One lovely afternoon at Keyhaven, we were sitting on a bench watching some gulls flying around when I told Rosie that I wished that I could take some shots of the gulls but explained that I was not quick enough. Paul called over that he had some cold chips in his bag and that he would throw them in to the air so that I could take some shots of the gulls. My first attempt was a failure because I was not aiming my camera in the same direction as Paul was throwing the chips so we decided to have another go making sure that we both knew what we had to do. This time, I held my camera up and using the wide angle took some shots of the gulls and because of the great fixture “trimming” on my camera, with a few clicks I was able to produce some lovely close-ups.

 From this photo, I was able to obtain the following photo.

 The first time that I became interested in family history was when I was looking at some old photographs, birth, marriage and death certificates and decided that I wanted to know more about my ancestors especially my mother who died when I was thirteen years old and did not know much about her family. For a number of years I have been tracing my family history, visiting archives, libraries, and asking for help from many organisations devoted to family history. It was difficult trying to find my way around the increasing number of resources on the internet but I had a lot of help from other researchers especially Rosie.  I found that using the internet for research was very popular probably because when exchanging information with fellow researchers it was much quicker and more efficient using my computer. I have exchanged information with researched from Australia, New Zealand, Canada, Channel Islands, USA, Ireland and England to mention just a few. My husband and I have been to different Archives and Record Offices, to different Churches so that we could look at the headstones and sometimes we had strangers helping us. We had lots of fun and enjoyed meeting other people who had similar interests and enjoyed talking to some of the vicars who were very helpful. We got wet many times and ended up with muddy shoes but we still had a great time. I have found lots of information regarding my family and my husband's family, and as it is an on-going project I am hoping that other family members will carry on with the work.

There is nothing I like better than to sit in a comfortable chair and listen to music particularly from the musicals by Andrew Lloyd Webber. A group of us went to see “The Sound of Music” starring Connie Fisher in London, I really enjoyed it though the light conditions made it difficult for me at times otherwise it was fantastic. I have no particular favourite singer, as there are so many that I enjoy listening to such as Russell Watson, Susan Boyle, Lesley Garrett, Katharine Jenkins and Elaine Page. I do intend to have the music on too loud so have started to wear headphone that I find to be so much better.

I do not know what I would do without my computer; I enjoy surfing the web, researching my family tree, being the administrator of our private family web site and doing my blog on Blogger. There is so much that you can do and it is a lovely way to keep in touch with family and friends.